Latest News: Florida Men and Zac gets Censored!

Well here we are another
week, more impeachment stuff, dragging on slow in this country
down that ended last week, like completely like it’s
done and watch the news, but you have got to be
kidding me. This is amazing. But to get to the real news this week, all right. Police in Canada responded to reports of
a child screaming in the woods only to find out that it was actually a goat
that had his head stuck in a fence. All right? But they found this out because they went
and talked to this guy who owned this land and he was like, no, no, no,
no. It’s not a kid. There’s a goat. One of my goats had his head stuck in the
fence. There’s nothing to worry about. So the cops just wrote it
off and said, that’s fine, I don’t I this Canadian politeness
thing is getting way out ahead. God, this is an exciting week. All right, the San Antonio zoo for all you heart
struck our lovestruck lovers or whatever the hell you are. You can go to the San Antonio zoos
website and you can pay $25 to name a rat after your ex and then watch
it being fed to a snake. I don’t really know. You know what this Bernie Sanders
is a shining example of capitalism. And this is why you are
wrong, sir. Here we have a, a, an alligator in Florida was, um, is being praised for
killing this Burmese Python. It was apparently like an interloper with
these other snakes and he’s like, Oh, yay, yay for the alligator.
He killed this snake. Uh, but when I go and I beat up
somebody with no arms and legs, I’m just some sort of monster. So a Chinese Acrobat is broken his own
world record by climbing 36 steps on his head. Uh, and this is what
the Chinese are up to. I think they should focus more on not
spreading like disease across the world and causing a bunch of damn panic instead
of hopping around on their noggins. Uh, apparently, um, if you want to see me try to break this
world record, check out my Instagram. A New York man has also broken his own
world record for a pizza box collection where he now has more than
1500 unique pizza boxes. Um, his name is mr Wiener
in Flatbush, Brooklyn Wiener in Flatbush. I’m not gonna fall for this one cause
they’re probably just going to send to me again. So moving on to the next headline. We have Florida man Cletus McFarland
recently purchased it Darryl like racetrack, so that him and his friends could have
a place to do burnouts that right. There’s the American dream.
But here’s the deal. Um, I have to do a financial if I want to
purchase my friends around and Mick chickens. All right? Yet another world record for the week.
This is getting a little bit ridiculous, but a dog’s owners are seeking to
get it in the book of Guinness, the book of Guinness, the Guinness book of world records
because it can fit six tennis balls in his mouth. I once dated a girl that
could fit six balls into her mouth. [inaudible]. Makes sense. It again, once
again, I spend my time, I tie in personal anecdotes into
these news stories and week after week I am silenced and I will
not stand for it anymore. This week was intense. Maybe you’re a Florida man
with your own ridiculous story. Maybe you’re in another state. Maybe
you’re not a man. I don’t know. Leave it down in the comments below.

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